Sittin' Here La...La...

Back to work again with no work to do. I know I should just be grateful for this time because eventually the work will come and we will be crazy busy but I am going stir crazy. I can't help but feel like we should be going to classes on campus now instead of still sitting around here. That's it I am done complaining, I need to be a "doer!" There I e mailed my supervisor and requested that we meet about training. Proud of me, you are. (Yoda Voice)

Well I am focused again. After my little blunder yesterday I decided to make up for it by minimizing my calories for today and tomorrow. That way I can overcompensate for any extra calories I took in. I just really want to make my weekly goal weight and then some. I think this whole "earning the IUI" plan has put more emphasis on my daily activities than what I had before which is helping me to get right back up when I fall. I am also really pushing water today since I didn't drink enough yesterday. Its amazing what one day away from work will do!

Today I brought a lunch that is only 180 calories and then I have my 100 calorie snack. I am planning on making BBQ chicken for dinner and to cut out some calories I am going to skip the starch and cook myself an extra vegetable. I remember doing that a lot in November and I lost weight pretty fast with doing that.

On a fitness note I opted to take the stairs instead of the elevator today and although it is only one flight I went up to the top floor and then walked back down. Hey any extra steps counts right? I am going to try to take the stairs up all the time if I can. Also maybe during my lunch shift I will walk up and down the stairs for a while too. Like just keeping walking up the flight of stairs so that at the end of the day I have done 8 or 10 flights of stairs.

I know I need to start incorporating more physical activity in my daily schedule. Apparently people who exercise do better doing their labors and lose the baby weight faster. Maybe at night Stan Sugar and I can go for walks. Its just hard because he gets into work so late so he doesn't get home until it is too late to go for walks. I would like it to be something that we start doing as a family so that it can be a habit before baby. Plus its nice because we can really talk and get all this fresh air and it would be really good for Sugar. The main problem is the motivation isn't there for either of us. I can really focus on my calories and eating because it just doesn't have the same mental wall that fittness seems to have. No, I have to do this. Maybe I could talk Audre into joining a gym around here and her and I will go together in the evenings that way we could talk and have fun while working on something positive with each other. I don't know, all of these ideas and no follow-up.

On a brighter side I am doing really well with taking my meds and I haven't been feeling too crazy over food (even after yesterday's little blunder). I had Stan get rid of the cake so that temptation has left the building. I am hoping that I am able to stick with this and stay motivated like this all month. I get a little scared because I seem to commitment to things half way. In the beginnning usually I am so gung-ho about everything and then toward the end I start to fizzle out. Its just really important that I maintain this all month so I am where I need to be for the next cycle.

I have also been getting scared that I will have a cyst and I got my heart set on doing the cycle in March and then I just feel like I may get let down.

What's that Grace? Negative thinking...I think not!

Ok so for Lent I am giving up negative thinking. Instead of dwelling on what is negative about something...or even potentially negative I am going to look on the bright side and deal with the bad stuff as/if it comes...no worries!

So thinking positively no matter what the out come I am making huge strides in improving my body not just in terms of fertility but in terms of my overall health. By drinking all of this water my body is able to flush out more toxins, my organs aren't putting out too much urea, and I am gaining much more energy. By eating less calories I am testing my will power and using this great opportunity (my job) as a jumping off point for losing weight not only that but I am back to being a member of spark which maybe motivaing others without me even knowing it. In the long run these changes will spill over into my life and improve the quality overall. As I gain more energy I will be able to do more things with my children (when I have them), I will be able to do more with Stan, and I will be able to conquer something I have long wanted to conquer. By making these simple changes I am paving the way for greater things and that is regardless of what ends up happening in March.

Yeah positive thinking, now I feel all empowered and happy again. Its amazing how letting yourself dwell into the negatives brings you so far down. I am just proud of what I have achieved so far and I am proud of my potential for further growth!

On that note, I have to say its cool to be eating throughout the day. I like that satisfied feeling I get even though overall I am consuming less calories. Its just nice because I know that I am doing better and feeling better as well. I remember it was like that at Joan Carol too. When I first started losing weight one of the ways I broke into a different weight category was just simply from bringing my lunches most of the time and then trying to cook at home. It makes all the difference, really. You immediatly start eating less calories simply because you are not eating at fast food places. And since I am drinking water all the time all day long I can satisfy my nervous urges as well! I'd say that is a win-win!

I am pushing myself to take the Bupleurem again 3x a day. I have been slacking on that a little and usually will only take it twice a day. But I am taking it before I leave the house, before lunch, and then before I leave for work. It will be perfect since I will have the bottle right next to me in my office and so I will always be reminding myself of what's going on. I just want to take all the precautions I can because whatever is within my power is expected that I do so I am making it easier for myself.


This song has been playing in my head so I was think about the lyrics sittin here la la waitin for my ya ya. So I looked it up because I thought it meant Grandmother and it does in Greece. So Opa!