So Far So Good…

My new plan has been working out very nicely. This morning I found these yummy Healthy Choice lunches that have grilled chicken, steamed veggies, and some kind of sauce. They have about the same calories as the other stuff it just seems like more food all around which I will not argue one bit with. Also the sauces sound really good so I am really looking forward to eating them.

On Friday night I went to the nutritionist as I did every Friday night and I faced the scale. I must say that it wasn’t as bad as I expected and I am feeling just so re-motivated. I feel all renewed and ready to focus my energy back toward my goal. Actually what is really unique about what I am doing now is that I have the opportunity to enjoy the weight loss. I like the process I have to go through in order to achieve what I want.

I have been thinking about how my whole life I have prayed to be skinny for this reason or that reason but I have never really followed through with it on my own. I haven’t used the tools I have been given. Never before has it all been so clear to me I have to meet God halfway before my miracle will be granted. I need to lose the weight not just for my health but for the health of my future family. This I see now and I feel ready to move more rapidly toward that goal.

How did the weekend go? I’d say I did alright. I ate very well on Saturday. I watched my calories and ordered very healthy. Sunday….another story indeed!

I threw a party for Stan’s dad because it was his birthday and combined that with a Super Bowl party. Everyone got together and watched the game while my sister-in-law and I went into my bedroom and watched chick flicks. Of course with me throwing a party you can guess that there was a lot of food! We had chili (which my momma made because she makes the best chili in the whole world!), tacos (made by me because who knows Mexican food better? both chicken & beef; soft & hard), Smoked beef with cream cheese, little hot dogs, Onion Dip & Chips, Cheese Curls, and cake & ice cream. We had quite the feast and trust me after all the hard work of putting the party together I feasted! I am not mad at myself and I don’t feel guilty I had fun and that is what parties are for getting together, chowing down, and having a ball.

It just means all this week I need to be extra careful to follow my plan to the letter. I just have to remind myself in times like this that it is all about balance. I have always hated when people are at parties and they refuse to eat all the good food that the host worked hard on because they are on a diet. Most people admire their dedication but I don’t necessarily view that as dedication. I see that as setting yourself up to fail. If you can’t enjoy those special times then eventually you are going to start begrudging the process.

I know I ate a lot on Sunday but I am feeling good about this week. I have to say (as odd as this is) the hardest thing for me to give up has been the juices & sodas. It’s easy to say that you aren’t going to have sodas anymore and to replace that with juice or some other calorie containing beverage but it is so weird to only be drinking water. I think I can handle it since it’s only for one month.

Oh that reminds me, I don’t know if I have mentioned this yet but it’s worth mentioning again, I am setting these goals as kind of a twenty-nine day countdown. I like to set up a short time span for something. It helps me psychologically to think about it in terms of well I only have “X” amount of days to go. Then when I get to my goal date I am going to look at where my weight is and determine if I have met the goals needed to do my next IUI if I want to forgo the next IUI I may just hold off a little and wait until I am fully ready to go ahead with it.

I think I got really hurt after the first one in November didn’t work and then I went through a huge transition with the job which all set me back in the whole weight loss world. I knew that I couldn’t really get pregnant the month that I started the job but I figure if I do conceive in March, April, or May I will be completely fine because at the end of my 9 months I will have been here a year.

So here’s my new plan I have been thinking that I will do my next IUI somewhere in March, April, or May. I am giving myself a three month window because (1) I can always decide I like where my weight loss is going & hold off to continue that (2) I don’t know what kind of things I will have in terms of work load and I don’t want to be stressed out at a time where I am trying to conceive and (3) I am not sure what my ovary will look like in terms of cysts and I don’t want to build myself up to a date with all this weight loss and blah blah go in and have the same song & dance. I want to prepare myself for the possibilities, not looking on the negative side; I just don’t want to get myself upset if everything doesn’t work out like it does when I envision it. So this way I have three months to get it together to be ready. Then if I don’t conceive with the 2nd IUI then I am planning to take off through June or July and start again either in July or August. Then if I don’t get pregnant then I will just keep doing the last few IUI(s) before we schedule IVF. Again I am just thinking about this in a long term way instead of expecting to get pregnant and getting let down. If it’s a no then I am ok with that because I have a plan. If it’s a yes then it will be time to celebrate!

Until then I am working on several key goals:

- Drink more water
- Adopt healthier eating habits
- Build my relationship more with Stan
- Create a “do-able” fitness program
- Build my Career
I probably have even more goal than that but those key goals look very nice for now.